Celebrity Jokes Part 3

Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A. So she can moan with the other.

Q. Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? A. Her dog was blind too.

Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing? A. Washed her hands with soap.

Q. Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone? A. He was too busy playing the hormonica.

Q. Do you know why Monica got a stain on her dress? A. She didn't keep her mouth shut!

Q. What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common? A. Boy's underwear half off.

Q. 100 Women Surveyed, "Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?" A. 80% said not again.

Q. What's green and smells like Monica Lewinsky? A. The pool table in the oval office.

Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

Q. What does Bill Clinton and a country folk dancer have in common? A. They both throw a ho down.

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:53:46 PM

Celebrity Jokes Part 2

Q. Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp? A. Everyone would be afraid to lick it.

Q. What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson? A. Christopher Reeves got the electric chair....and O.J walked!

Q. What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall? A. George Michael's latest release.

Q. What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick? A. Hugh Grant.

Q. What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? A. A microwave stops when you open the door.

Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed? A. When the big hand is on the little hand.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

Q. How did Helen Keller's mother punish her? A. By rearranging the living-room furniture.

Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? A. She screamed her hands off.

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:53:12 PM

Celebrity Jokes Part 1

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? A. One was the first to walk on the moon and the other fucks little boys up the ass.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men? A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q. What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A. A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q. Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning? A. She wants to be the first lady.

Q. What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex? A. When Hillary is out of town.

Q. Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican? A. The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:52:11 PM

Blond Jokes Part 7

Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons? A. Because they have blond boyfriends

Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A. Their both empty from the neck up

Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.

Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A. A blow job with handlebars

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain? A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet? A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? A. It has a stamp on it.

Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections? A. A wine and cheese party!

Q. How do you drown a blonde? A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio? A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor? A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!

Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? A. There is white out on the screen

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:50:32 PM

Blond Jokes Part 6

Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? A. Open 24 hours a day.

Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet? A. To feed the toilet duck!

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses? A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.

Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws? A. Practice.

Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A. To cover the valve stem.

Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A. It takes too long to retrain them.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter? A. They spread for the bread.

Q. What's the difference between a group of blondes and a good magician? A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts.

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:50:07 PM

Blond Jokes Part 5

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common? A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? A. Cause it said concentrate.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? A. The joystick is wet.

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear? A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes? A. An interpreter.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money? A. She sold her car for it...

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:49:21 PM

Blond Jokes Part 4

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? A. Not everyone has been in a 747?

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde? A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common? A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex? A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are? A. Play ball!

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:48:52 PM

Blond Jokes Part 3

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? A. Because they both drip when they're fucked!

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? A. "Way to go team!"

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? A. FULL

Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper? A. So she could lip read.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A. Pregnant

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:48:21 PM

Blond Jokes Part 2

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A. Frosted Flakes

Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A. An airbag.

Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. How did the blonde burn her nose? A. Bobbing for chips.

Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass? A. Brain tumor.

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:47:49 PM

Blonde Joke Part 1

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q. What did the blonde�s left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair? A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof? A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators? A. They chip their teeth.

Q. How does a blond like her eggs in the morning? A. Fertilized

Q. Why do blonds like tilt steering? A. More headroom

Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob? A. Because everyone gets a turn.

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Date added: 04 / 11 / 2008 , 02:46:51 PM