Dentist Picks Up

A guy and a girl met at a bar.

They’re getting along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and washes his hands.

He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.

So the girl looks at him and says, ‘You must be a dentist!’.

The guy all surprised says, ‘Yes, how did you figure that out ?’.

The girl says, ‘Easy, you keep washing your hands’.

One thing led to another.

They make love.

After they were done, the girl says, ‘You must be a GREAT dentist!’.

The guy was very very surprised, he says, ‘Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out??’

The girl says, ‘Easy, I didn’t feel a thing!’

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 44
Date added: 03 / 04 / 2008 , 03:00:11 PM

Never Done Anything Crazy?

A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench. The old man stares at the young man.

"What's the matter, old man?" says the young man. "Never done anything crazy in your life?"

The old man replies: "Yeah. When I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son."

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 19
Date added: 03 / 04 / 2008 , 12:37:50 PM

Camel Joke

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that? Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Lady 1: Where did you get it? Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 37
Date added: 03 / 03 / 2008 , 12:24:19 PM

Football Joke

After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.

"Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to seven."

He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 25
Date added: 03 / 02 / 2008 , 03:34:52 PM

Little Billy Came Home From School

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 64
Date added: 02 / 29 / 2008 , 03:23:23 PM

How To Impress A Woman

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, carees her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 37
Date added: 02 / 28 / 2008 , 07:56:40 PM

Boy Working On His Arithmetic

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 40
Date added: 02 / 27 / 2008 , 12:06:33 PM

Children Were Lined Up In The Cafeteria

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 40
Date added: 02 / 26 / 2008 , 12:25:18 PM

A Dog Walks Into This Bar

A dog walks into this bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender, "Hey barkeep, it's my birthday today. How 'bout a free drink?"

The bartender turns, looks at the dog and nods his head, "Sure pal, toilet's right down the hall."

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 43
Date added: 02 / 26 / 2008 , 12:23:44 PM

Two Guys And A Girl At A Bar

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

Rating: 0.00 | Hits: 36
Date added: 02 / 25 / 2008 , 11:24:06 PM