A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
Two Russian scientists claim a device created to investigate the origins of the universe could become the world's first ever time machine. Scientists say the vast atom-smashing machine at the European Particle Physics Centre near Geneva could create a time tunnel.